Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hey fatty! Good luck on your test!

I wish I could have been in the meeting when the idea of a testing center was conceived.

"Hey I've got an incredibly cruel idea! How about we cram hundreds of miserable people into one room!"

"Oh that sounds excellent, lets make it ONE MILLION DEGREES in there to make sleep deprived students even more miserable!!"

"Oh, ha oh, oh, yes, and lets write 4 hour exams so they have to sit in there ALL FREAKING DAY and envy those playing outside in the sunshine."

"You are a genius! Also, lets make sure we strategically place smelly people throughout the room so that for 4 hours the test taker is gagging while trying to concentrate on binary eutectic phase diagrams."

"Awesome, we are Einsteins, lets get to building this torture chamber. I love my job."

Seriously, the testing center has its benefits and can be super convenient for students and professors alike, but overall the cost-benefit ratio just doesn't cut it.

Today, I found a new reason to hate it.

I've always known the aisles were tiny, but today with the surplus of testing students they seemed to shrink. I walked into the testing room this morning and the only available gray seat was in the middle of a column, middle row. There was an available tan seat on the back row, but those just don't cut it stability or space wise. So I took a deep breath and started towards it. My arms were full of books, I was wearing a skirt, I had a jacket hanging over one arm, and my backback was HUGE-but I HAD to get to that seat. I knocked 2 tests off of other people's desks, hit one kid with my jacket, dropped all my organized Thermo notes (it was an open notes/homework/textbok test, not that it helped my score) and homework, and felt like my rear end was invading everyone's personal space before actually making it to my seat. I was SOOO flustered and I hadn't even LOOKED at my test yet.

Unfortunately, my experience didn't get any better as someone walked down the aisle later knocking all my notes off my desk (just like I had done to someone else earlier). I couldn't blame him, but it still bugged. As my time limit drew to a close, I started to pack up-trying to compress all my belongings to the smallest space possible to make it out of the building. My exit, while more graceful than my entrance, was still awkward and uncomfortable as I sucked in my tummy and tip toed out. I really don't think I'm that large of a person, but the testing center proved otherwise.

Thank you, Heber J. Grant Building for making me feel obese today. I really appreciate it, I'm so excited I get to add on to my already lengthly list of grievances .


Tyler said...

I can also testify of the smelly people factor. Usually a loud groan while entering the room lets them know that I know who they are.

Kellee Marie Cook said...

this totally happened to me on my last final.. but i was in the jsb and practically had to step on people to get a seat. one guy didn't move at all and my butt was basically in his face and I was practically sitting in his lap. thank goodness they are OVER.

time for a road trip?

Sarah Orme said...

i love hearing people curse under their breath in that room-it's so funny. i haven't taken a test in there in about 2 years.....

love you.

Jane said...

Please tell me you were wearing green skirt?