So I am pausing. Pausing and thinking.
My grandmother passed away yesterday. It was not unexpected as she has been in poor health since June. As we drove home from the airport I read my grandfather's email out loud in my broken voice to Kyle. By the time I reached the last line the words were a struggle:
"A good lady has finished her work here on this earth and has gone ahead to prepare the place for us. May the Lord bless her."
I cried because she was so good and so is Grandpa. And I cried because yesterday was Grandma's oldest child's birthday, my mom's birthday. And I kept thinking that on that very day, 60 something years ago, Eileen had just become a new mother. A mother filled with both angst and excitement as she held a newborn daughter in her arms. A beautiful daughter that would raise eight hardworking, stubborn children. The strength, resilience, and time (and timing) is overwhelming. And that is why I am crying.
And pausing. And thinking.